flowers

 I survived my birthday. I bought me some flowers since no one else thought of it $10 for flowers $2 for the vase and a very happy birthday to me.  My birthday is so important to me because I add another year of surviving my Migraines. Thirty-one this year it means I got through another year and gratefully I have fewer bad days to deal with, but nothing is certain. I could be thrown into a myriad of things that trigger my Migraines and back into Hell I go. For each day, I can wake up and not have to immediately roll over and take my medicine is a gift. A precious offering not to be squandered on petty things. I cultivate friendships like I would a garden. Listen to my inner voice when it tells me I’m off course. Those adjustments can carry a high cost, I can only ignore them for so long. My direction changes leave me in transition; a place of endings and beginnings. Like most people I fear change. I get comfortable in my own distress, wear it like a blanket because I know it and it’s comfortable. Here I wallow in what I know and what could be my future; nothing changes nor will it until I make a decision and for good, bad or better deal with the consequences.

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