Winter 2012 part 2

There are still thousands of people in Arkansas that are without power. I am thankful I have been staying with my folks through this storm and we haven’t lost power. My apartment is another story. We went out last night to a nearby restaurant, it was the first time I had been out since I got here on Monday afternoon. Today is bright and sunny the high is supposed to reach 43 degrees. I’m going to head over to my apartment and check on things and take my daughter to the library we’re both getting a bit of cabin fever being cooped up in the house.

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banging my head on a wall

When is enough? Enough? I have been giving my relationship 90% to his 10%. We’ve doing the long distance thing for about a year, but in order to bring us together I’m the one who will have to turn my world upside down. As in change jobs, move farther from my family and into another town. The bulk of our communication is text. Apparently his new iphone does everything but make actual calls. My friends just met him because our schedules meshed just right. I broke it off with him over thanksgiving for about 4 days; I was just thinking I’d make when I got that one more text. We started talking again and like the charming ass that he is I am back to where I started. We see each other about once a month. The rest of the time it’s texts; I feel like a yard dog that gets visited and fed just enough to keep me coming back for more unfortunately that little bit more is never enough. Every time he leaves my heart gets ripped out of my chest all over again.

So here’s to you
the one who

Rips out my heart then tells me you love me
Never so much as made a token effort to argue with me over the dinner tab
Has never actually taken me out on a date
is communicationally challenged
Has no time for me
I hate you for treating like this
I hate myself more for letting you

Point of View

When all else fails change your point of view. I had shelved a book I was writing because I was frustrated with it. The manuscript just didn’t seem to work well. I was re-reading Selgin’s book and realized what my problem was I had limited myself by writing it in first person. This book has several different cultures in it and takes places in some very different settings. So I going to separate my two main character and their settings until I get them together. Once together I’ll follow their story line until I need to add my other characters. I hope this works out better. I printed my manuscript so I can do a line by line rewrite.

I’ve been doing some serious multi-tasking today; I think I need a nap.

Dare to be…

breadstuffs

Much to my delight I’m off work and I took my last finale yesterday that means I have some time to breathe. I’ve already made buscuits this morning and I’m getting ready for a bread bake-a-thon. I started making bread about a year ago and I’m hooked it does take a little know how but the results are well worth the destroyed kitchen floury hands, shirt and pants. I started my bread making with yes you guessed it a cook book. Another great place to look for recipies is at the site of the brand of flour that is used. I prefer the King Arthur flour its made in the USA and the results I’ve had with it are amazing.

I found a sign that capture the essence of cooks everywhere. I don’t know who created this sign, but it was on an article from Backwoods Home Magazine written by Rowena Aldridge.

Food
1.buy it with thought
2.cook it with care
3.serve just enough
3.eat what would spoil
4.home grown is best
Don’t waste it.

Dare to be…

goodreads

I have added the goodreads widget to my blog. That way everyone can keep up with my reading; I am a rather prolific reader with very eclectic tastes. I’ve also added the twitter widget. I find this social media site much more intelligent when I need insight, tips and informtion on writing and publishing.

What I know right now

So much of my life is in hurry up and wait status, I wanted to take a moment and remember and be grateful for what I have. I’ve settled into my apartment which means I have a temperature controlled environment and running water. I have lived without these things. I have enough to eat in this economy not all of us can say that. I’ve regained my independence; I can put a check mark in that box. I have just about to wrapped up my first semester at the university, can almost put a check there.

My frustration comes from the things in my life I have little or no control over at all. Conflicting work schedules with my significant other make  getting together very difficult. It is a great irony that the only person I want to spend time with I can’t because of work and family obligations. So I wait, write and hope that the outcome of the one thing we can control turns out for our benefit and at some point all the other issues that are keeping us apart reconcile themselves. Right now all I want is to lay down in his arms and sleep. In true Scorpio fashion I don’t do anything in half measures. I love with all of my being and when he leaves it feels like my heart gets ripped out of my chest then immediately is put back in. I’m not much use for the rest of the day and have a hard time being grateful for the few stolen hours we get. I’ve only seen him twice since I moved in the end of October. I cry as I write this I’ll admit that, I’m not one to let my feelings out I don’t want to be a burden on any one and regardless of my friends best intentions we are doing the best we can with what we have right now. Sometimes I just need to vent I don’t need anyone to make it better I just need a sympathetic ear and a hug.  Somethings are worth waiting for and this is one of those cases.