banging my head on a wall

When is enough? Enough? I have been giving my relationship 90% to his 10%. We’ve doing the long distance thing for about a year, but in order to bring us together I’m the one who will have to turn my world upside down. As in change jobs, move farther from my family and into another town. The bulk of our communication is text. Apparently his new iphone does everything but make actual calls. My friends just met him because our schedules meshed just right. I broke it off with him over thanksgiving for about 4 days; I was just thinking I’d make when I got that one more text. We started talking again and like the charming ass that he is I am back to where I started. We see each other about once a month. The rest of the time it’s texts; I feel like a yard dog that gets visited and fed just enough to keep me coming back for more unfortunately that little bit more is never enough. Every time he leaves my heart gets ripped out of my chest all over again.

So here’s to you
the one who

Rips out my heart then tells me you love me
Never so much as made a token effort to argue with me over the dinner tab
Has never actually taken me out on a date
is communicationally challenged
Has no time for me
I hate you for treating like this
I hate myself more for letting you


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