My anxiety

It is a dark overcast day here in central Arkansas. I’m waiting on the storms, they came in last night and are expected to last most of the day. Along with the bad weather I get to enjoy a nasty headache. I have written about my battle with migraines and depression, but I don’t think I have ever openly discussed how bad my anxiety can be in social situations. I have always done my best to avoid them. Yesterday, I went to an social gathering for school. I am in my second semester of American Sign language.  I attended a fund raiser at the Arkansas School for the Deaf. Many of my class mates also attended so there were a few people there that I knew. My wonderful other half accompanied me knowing that I don’t fare well at large social functions. I also had the added stress of this being large part of my grade for the course. I met and talked with several people they were warm and patient with me.

I have never been on medication for my anxiety. It took me two full semester to be semi-comfortable in the student center where I like to hang out between classes.  I have a few regular friends that I sit with, that helps too then I have someone to focus my attention on. I try to avoid situations where I’ll be in an unknown place with a lot of strangers. I’m also a very introverted person. I like to say it is just part of my personality. I don’t know if my anxiety stems from my migraines or not, they have giving me many permanent issues. I am light and noise sensitive regardless if I have any type of headache. There are certain things I can’t eat. I am very dependent on my routine to keep me form getting a migraine and limiting the other headaches I get. These are simple things most people don’t even thing about, like eating regularly and going to bed and getting up at about the same time everyday.  This is my ‘normal’ it is definitely not easy, but I have learned a lot about life and what is truly important. My migraines have also made me a much stronger person.


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